Does he like me? How to tell from your texts
Texts can show interest, but they can’t prove it. The most reliable signs are consistency over weeks, questions about your life, remembering what you said, and making real plans, not how fast one reply came back. If the pattern is unclear after a while, a direct question will tell you more than any chat.
Look at the pattern, not the single message
One slow reply, one dry “haha” or one late-night message means very little on its own. People are busy, tired, or bad at their phones. What matters is what keeps happening across weeks: does this person keep coming back, keep the conversation going, and keep showing up?
Scroll back further than feels comfortable. The early weeks of a chat often look very different from the last few, and the change, in either direction, is usually more telling than any one exchange.
Interest is curious and specific
Someone who likes you tends to ask about you, follow up on things you mentioned, and remember details: the exam, the trip, the sister’s birthday. Generic replies that could be sent to anyone are a weaker sign than a message that could only be meant for you.
Watch for effort that costs something. Suggesting a time to meet, changing a plan to make it work, or picking up a thread you dropped are stronger than emojis and compliments, which are easy to send.
What texts can mislead you about
Reply speed reflects someone’s day as much as their feelings. Some people text in bursts, some once a night, some barely at all and are warm in person. Compare this person with how they text in general, not with how you text.
Late-night messages and constant contact can feel like interest but may only mean you’re convenient or good company when they’re bored. Attention and intention are not the same thing; plans that actually happen tell them apart.
When to stop reading and ask
If you’ve been decoding the same chat for weeks, the chat has probably told you what it can. A short, calm question, like “I like talking to you, do you want to go out sometime?”, gets a clearer answer than any amount of analysis, and a vague answer or silence is an answer too.
Interest should feel good, not anxious. Messages that control, threaten or humiliate you are not a sign of strong feelings; they are not okay.
If you want a second reader before you ask, HeyMarco reads an exported chat and writes a report on these patterns, with quotes from the chat as receipts. Who starts and how fast each person replies are counted from the messages, not guessed by the AI, and the preview is free.
- Who starts conversations Does it go both ways over time, or does one person almost always open?
- Questions back Do they ask about your life, or mostly answer yours?
- Memory Do they bring up things you told them days ago?
- Plans Do they suggest meeting, and when a plan falls through, do they offer another date?
- Timing Do they show up during the day too, or only late at night?
- Change Has the length or warmth of their messages shifted over the weeks?
Questions people ask next
- Does a slow reply mean he’s not interested?
- Not by itself. Compare it with how he usually texts. A lasting change in speed and warmth is worth noticing; one slow day is not.
- Is it a bad sign if I always text first?
- It depends on what happens next. If he engages warmly and makes plans, it may just be habit. If you start almost everything and he rarely builds on it, that imbalance is worth taking seriously.
- Can someone like me and still be bad at texting?
- Yes. Some people show interest in person and not on their phone. If plans happen and time together is good, the chat matters less.
- Should I ask him directly?
- If you’ve been unsure for a while, yes. Keep it short and calm. A clear answer, even a disappointing one, saves you weeks of guessing.
See how a report reads: “Jordan and you: eight months of “we are not a thing” and 6,400 messages that say otherwise”, a sample written about a fictional chat.
Read the sample report